Build A Subway Footlong And We’ll Tell You Your Two Best Qualities
You got: You’re loyal and honest.
You stand by your friends and family through the thick and thin. You have many friendships that have lasted for many years because you are an outstanding friend. People always come to you for advice, and you see no sense in sugarcoating things because you are trying to help out.
Your glass is always half full and this really affects everyone you are with. You put others in a good mood with your beaming smile and positivity. You could seriously have a career as a motivational speaker.
Your friends can count on you for anything! You deliver on all your promises and are the best at keeping secrets. You value the happiness of your loved ones and go out of your way to comfort them when they are down.
You got: You’re confident and have a good sense of humor.
You have an easy confidence but are never cocky. You don’t mind being the center of attention, but never hog the spotlight from your friends and family when they have an achievement. You love to laugh and make others laugh.
You are very mature for your age and have always been that way. You are insightful and philosophical while being mindful to put yourself in the perspective of others before making judgements. Overall, your caring spirit makes you someone people look up to.
Going with the flow is your natural instinct. This doesn’t mean that you are a push-over, however. You love to go on adventures and see where life takes you. You are devoted to your loved ones and take joy in spending time with them no matter what you are doing.
“Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret — a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?”
“Fresh wasabi may be too much to ask at Sugarfish’s prices, but there is no wasabi at all under the fish. Sugarfish lets you apply your own from some concentric bloops of stuff that tastes like watery horseradish and looks like a green version of the poop emoji, without the smile.”
“Another dish is called chicken rice. The rice tastes like tomatoes and needs salt. The chicken seems exhausted. Imagine a chain of Cuban restaurants started by retired employees of the Olive Garden. This could be their arroz con pollo.”
“Most other things I tried may as well have stayed in the kitchen, except the chicken enchiladas, which should have been sent back to Cancún. I thought they tasted like tuna, but a more acute observer said the flavor was like pork sprinkled with fish food.”
His review of the pork chops Milanese at La Sirena.
“It wasn’t pickled fennel that kept me from finishing a pork chop Milanese. It was the breading, thick and dense in a way that made me think of the apron you wear when you get your teeth X-rayed.”
His review of the heirloom tomato salad at Le Cirque.
“Anyone with a bottle of olive oil and access to a supermarket produce aisle might easily prepare an heirloom tomato salad that surpasses the one I was served at Le Cirque in August.”
“A restaurant that trips over its signature dishes is as hard to trust as a person who misspells his own name. (Good thing there are only four letters in Jams.) The chicken aside, I tended to have better luck when I treated the Jams name as a warning label and ordered things without it.”
“Somebody showed up the instant the plates had been set down to ask brightly, ‘How does everything look?’ I can’t blame her for not asking how it tasted. The answer may have made it hard to stay chipper.”
“Flour tortillas were the best thing on the table… They are so good that if you happen to accidentally order the tacos filled with pale, cold brisket that tastes more like boiled pork than beef, you can simply tear off chunks of the tortilla and eat them on their own.”